The Host: It's a Korean movie, you know

warning: this may well be the most half-assed review I've ever put written, somehow even managing to top my splendid "effort" for The Gauntlet seven years ago when I reviewed a movie that I didn't bother to see. I'd post the link to it but I figure what's to follow will have to suffice as far as shameful criticism is concerned.

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When I first arrived in Korea thirteen months ago everyone was talking about a film about two men caught in the throes of forbidden love. No, not Brokeback Mountain, a picture that seemingly opted for the shock value of cowboy-on-farmhand action while leaving aside gauche elements such as feelings - and I'm guessing that there was supposed to be more than a "friends with benefits" thing going on there. No, the film I am referring to is The King and the Clown, itself every bit as compromised, though this time in favour of love at the expense of the Chosun Court Jester being used as Plaything by Royal Decree. At the time it was easy to get caught up how brave this film was (to a great many Koreans Fan Death exists but homosexuality doesn't) but hopefully this didn't obscure its greatness.

The King and the Clown seemingly came up in conversation at every possible opportunity and made me fondly recall a time when the release of a movie was an event in Canada too. But towards the end of July it suddenly became old news as Korea's summer blockbuster came out. The Host had not only stolen all of Clown's thunder, it had usurped it at the box office as well.

I'm certainly no expert on the subject having (a) only seen four Korean films so far (can't seem to track down Peppermint Candy) and (b) admittedly harbouring a bias against movies in general (I just can't get excited about them the way the books and music excite me) but there's something distinctly empty about The Host - and this is ignoring the deflatting, insulting ending. Is it too colonial of me to expect something distinctly Korean from a Korean picture?

There's something - mind you, I can't quite figure out what - that links the three other Korean movies I've seen, hugely different though they all are from one another: My Sassy Girl, a romantic comedy unlike any other I've ever seen, Oldboy, a superb gangster vengence romp and The King and the Clown, the only one not slated to be canibalised with an American remake (apparently there was a time when Americans were able to come up with their own ideas for watchable movies and TV shows but not in my lifetime). The director has even admitted that there's very little about it that is Korean.

As for the movie itself, it's not bad. The shoestring budget doubtless contributes to the Spartan effects but that probably also makes the Han River monster look more realistic. The acting is at best rudimentary (though Go Ah-sung is pretty good as the little girl), the nadir being Song Kang-ho in the lead, although if he was going for the David Schwimmer-guppy fish look then his performance can be deemed as nothing but a complete success. Most worrisome is that I found myself completely unconcerned for these people despite the nightmarish conditions they were facing. The same kind of indifference with which I've written this review.